Which Pop Diva Is Most Likely To Steal Your Man?????
Let’s be honest…no matter your man’s sexual orientation…there is NO WAY he’s going to turn down a night with these POP divas if offered…or will he?!
The Safe Zone: Popstars that give “f4g hag” energy…and I feel totally safe with that.
- Taylor Swift – This goes without saying. Taylor has golden retriever energy…she would never do anything to cross you – unless, like, you tried to out stream her on Spotify. But since I’m pretty sure your man isn’t about to get globally famous anytime soon (and if he did, it would be on OF, not in music)…you can sleep at night. Taylor Swift = Non-Threat.
- Adele – Let’s be honest. Adele is so busy trying to find new ways to tour for 3 months, then take another decade off…she doesn’t even know your man exists. And real talk…your man probably forgot she exists, too. Adele = Non-Threat.
Risky Zone Pop stars that give fake friend energy. They gas you up…until they S your man’s D behind your back. Watch out for these.
- Britney Spears – Sweet. Chaotic. Can have anything she wants. And to be real, a night with her would be a brag the rest of his life. I’ve known Platinum Gay’s who claim they would throw it all away for a night with Britney. Threat Level = Watch Closely.
- Charli xcx – To be honest, I’m intimidated by her. Any proper millennial who has successfully rebranded to Gen Z has something up her sleeve. And what is that? A sweaty elbow, and a plot to use your man for 12 seconds of pleasure. The only good news is…you man thinks Brat Summer is over. Threat Level = Watch Closely.
DANGER ZONE And I’m not talking like Top Gun. This is serious. Imminent Danger. I’d feel safer leaving my man with a hooker who is already paid up through the night.
- Beyonce – B*tch…you can pretend she’s irrelevant since she put out the country album and everything she does is a cash grab…DON’T UNDERSTIMATE YOUR OPPONENT. Idc how gay your little boyfriend is…he would crawl right up that million dollar coochie if given the chance. THREAT LEVEL = HIDE YOUR MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Madonna – Listen, I don’t care if you think she hasn’t been relevant since 10 years before you were born. I also don’t care if you think she’s so old she can’t physically have s3x anymore. Because guess what…it’s not about your man wanting to have s3x with Madonna…it’s about MADONNA wanting to have s3x with YOU MAN. Need I remind you of the Drake open mouth kiss incident of 2015!?! She won’t f*ck him because she wants to…she’ll f*ck him because she can. B*tch, she’s Madonna!!! THREAT LEVEL = HIDE YOUR MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
