Trying THAT without health insurance? In THIS economy?
Bitch you know I did.
Back story – my boyfriend is in the Navy. As any military wife knows, they are gone A LOT. And everybody says things like “it’ll make you stronger being apart” and “you’ll be so glad to see him when he gets home.”
Well guess what. I wasn’t happy to see him when he got home. I was horny. REALLY HORNY. He was gone 5 weeks – are you kidding me? The last time I didn’t have sex for 5 weeks was in college when I thought I was str8.
So what did I do? I ROCKED HIS WORLD. It was the bottom attack he never saw coming. But you know what I didn’t see coming? The injury that ensued.
Full disclosure? My boyfriend has a MASSIVE d*ck. Like, bigger than the big ones I used to think were huge. So when I tell you after 20 minutes of riding that c()ck in every direction, I started feeling a bit sore. Like, more sore than normal.
The urgent care doctor told me “if you’re having this much pain, it could be caused by colon cancer or damage to your intestine.”
That’s when I realized, MY BOYFRIEND HAD LITERALLY DAMAGED MY SECOND HOLE. Have you ever had a guy get to your “end zone?” Neither had I. And before you start calling me a weak bottom, this all happened with absolutely no intervention from “VCR Head Cleaner.” The only “head cleaner” involved in this stunt was my mouth, for about 12 seconds before stealing home from 3rd.
Moral of the story – don’t spend $300 at urgent care if your boyfriend’s d!ck is bigger than 9 inches.
